Today I feel crap

No word of a lie. 

Translation: I have a cold. Of course I’ll play on it so long as i can because that’s who I am. My nose and right eye won’t quit running, the bastards.

Kind of getting round to the idea of being histrionic now. Almost. I think it will give some reasoning to Y and Z (the guys from my last post) as to why I’ve done what I’ve done. It’s given me insight, that’s for sure. Lack of guilt, extreme empathy, making my end goal their end goal (if you catch my drift…)

Just dreading anyone asking me what i want now. The honest answer would be to have every guy I meet fall to their knees in lust over me. However social pressure means i can’t really disclose that without sounding like a selfish psycho bitch. I’m clever enough to be able to read a social situation and react how i think a non HPD should react, denying myself the right to feel like I actually feel. I know how to dress appropriately for the occasion.

Haven’t been up to thinking much more today, it would have only made me feel worse. I’ll do my thinking tomorrow when i have the time and the house to myself. 

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